My in-laws are here for a visit, which is why I’ve missed a post or two. My mother and father-in-law are wonderful godly people and we have enjoyed their visit. But, I’ve yet to understand why they think we are experts on all things Greek. Actually, this happens with most visitors, but has particularly stood out during my in-laws current visit.
This is how the conversation goes as we drive through the glorious Greek countryside:
“What are those?” inquires Mom.
“Sheep,” is my well-informed reply.
“What kind of sheep?”
“White ones.”
“What are all those trees?”
“Olive trees.” This question has already been asked several times.
“When do they pick the olives?”
“Probably when they are ripe.”
“How do they make olive oil?” The questions keep coming fast and furious.
“In the olive oil factory.”
“What are those pretty red flowers?”
“Wild poppies. They are one of the first things to bloom in the spring.” At least I can reply to this question with more than one syllable.
“What do they do with them?”
“I think they enjoy looking at them.”
Eventually my replies disintegrate into a long string of “I don’t know. Darling Husband, do you know?” Of course, Darling Husband is conveniently busy navigating the road and listening to the GPS to be of any help. I am on my own.
I hate giving such uneducated replies and sounding dumb. Some little imp of mischief rises up within me, and I begin to embroider my answers....... just a little. Since the old folks' memories are not what they used to be, I get a second chance to polish my answers.
The next round of questions goes like this:
“What are those?” inquires Mom.
“I believe those are sheep.” My voice rings with confidence.
“What kind of sheep?”
“They are a special hybrid sheep found only in Greece. Europeans worry about mad cow disease, so the Greeks are breeding a sheep that tastes like beef. They export them all over Europe.” Their eyes widen in wonder at my explanation.
“What are all those trees?”
“Olive trees.”
“When do they pick the olives?”
I glance furtively around, my voice dropping to a soft whisper. “That is a highly guarded secret among Greek olive growers. That is why they have the best olives in the world.”
“How do they make olive oil?”
“Have you seen the episode of I Love Lucy where she goes to Italy and stomps on grapes with her bare feet? Greeks use the same process to make olive oil. It is quite a festive holiday and the olive oil makes your feet as soft as a baby’s butt a baby’s skin.”
“What are those pretty red flowers?”
“Wild poppies. They bloom prolifically in the spring, and you can find fields of poppies all over this part of Greece.”
“What do they do with them?”
“The poppies are picked and exported to Afghanistan for opium production. Next to olive oil, and hybrid sheep, this is the third ranking export out of Greece.” Gasps echo in the car at my revelation.
Okay, the conversation only went like this in my head. By the third or fourth round, I sounded like quite the polished tour guide. At least in my mind.
So, when you come to visit in Greece, sit back and enjoy my tour. No fact-checking allowed.
This is hilarious! Thanks for your post. I think you should totally go for those answers from your head in real life! ha ha ha
I can relate. We have a team here this week, and so I've had to answer lots of questions myself!
I live fairly close to you, in a neighboring rival country!
Posted by: Betsy | 05/09/2011 at 09:12 PM
Thanks, Betsy! It is tempting to give those answers in real life.... Hope you have a great time with your team!
Posted by: acommonwoman | 05/09/2011 at 09:55 PM
Oh mercy! I do the same thing! I happened upon your blog from IRL *in real life's recent post. I just love it. I hate being a tour guide. And my m-i-l who actually lived in our country for a while asks the craziest tourist questions of them all.
Thanks for a smile for my day!
Michele
Posted by: Michele | 05/17/2011 at 03:04 PM
Michele, I'm always happy to add a smile to someone's day. Thanks for the comment!
Posted by: acommonwoman | 05/17/2011 at 04:12 PM