This last week, I broke down and went to the dentist. I was terrified. Fortunately, it was a good experience and didn't involve much pain. But I still have a lingering fear of doctor's offices. Particularly in countries who have socialized medicine. This is a repeat of one of my favorite posts. Hope you enjoy!
When we moved to Russia in the early 90’s, I told my husband the only way I would go to the Russian hospital was if I was already dead. I hoped things would be better after moving to the Balkans. Unfortunately, some things are eerily the same.
1. Socialized medicine means making an appointment for 9:00, and finding 37 other people in line for the same appointment.
2. When the nurse tells you to strip off your clothes, she doesn’t provide a sheet, gown or fig leaf to cover up with.
3. As you sit naked, shivering on the table, the other 37 people in line periodically pop in the room to remind the doctor that they are waiting.
4. The nurse uses an ink pen to draw a circle around the spot where she just gave you a TB test, and says to not wash the ink off your arm until your return in 3 days.
5. Your doctor leaves in the middle of your exam for a frappe/smoke break.
6. If you have a cold, the doctor blames it on sitting in a draft or using ice in your drink.
7. The doctor diagnoses your “female problems” as the result of sitting on a cold surface, such as the ground, a marble step, or the floor. After everything thaws out, you’ll be able to have children again.
8. While drawing blood, the glass tube attached to the needle falls off and breaks, so the nurse holds another tube to catch the drips falling from the needle still impaled in your arm.
9. The machine for chest x-rays is located right in front of the door, which is open more than shut, providing a free peep show for everyone waiting in line for their x-rays.
10. By the end of your appointment, at least 37 strangers will have seen you in your birthday suit.
OH HONEY, I SO RELATE hahahaha... only one difference, my breast xray was on the 2nd floor near a big big window with no curtains and needless to say a busy street...
Posted by: Patsy | 04/20/2012 at 11:54 AM
Patsy, thank heavens no one looks up on a busy street in Russia! : )
Posted by: acommonwoman | 04/20/2012 at 02:39 PM
LOL
Soooo true!
Except here in Argentina, you don't have the other patients popping in during the exam. Something I can be thankful for! :)
I loved it (NOT) when, during my first year, I got parasites and the doctor told me it was all in my head. ?!?!?! I finally self-diagnosed when I noted the cyclical pattern of the diarrhea.
Also didn't appreciate the OB-GYN who put me on hormones (after objecting for a year I gave in -- BIG MISTAKE) without doing any kind of blood work to see where my hormone levels were. Worst.experience.of.my.life. Even childbirth was easier than that. I stopped taking them after 10 days.
I now try to hold off on any big stuff until we're on furlough.
But thankfully we've found a wonderful, competent dentist! Which is a very good thing considering the number of root canals and crowns I'm racking up.
I totally agree with your comment on socialized medicine. We have to get our own medicine and needles at the pharmacy and take them to the doctor. And I learned to also take cotton balls and band-aids because they don't even have those in their office. It took ruining just one pair of pants after an injection (which bled like crazy because I don't think they knew how to administer a shot properly) before I realized we needed to come COMPLETELY prepared with all necessary supplies.
I keep telling myself, "It's an adventure! It's an adventure!" haha
Posted by: Kim | 04/20/2012 at 10:38 PM
Kim, it is an adventure! I remember going to the docotor for some blood work, and their first question was "Where are your needles?" I had to go buy some at the pharmacy and come back. The adventure sure makes us appreciate our medical care in America.
Posted by: acommonwoman | 04/21/2012 at 08:19 AM
#10 left me cackling! Going to the doctor here in Brazil can be as bad. I am thankful for some private clinics and hospitals that are modern and a bit better. Been thinking of writing about a recent root canal experience. This was an inspiration to get the post written!
Posted by: Michele-atha.blogspot.com | 04/24/2012 at 04:07 PM
Michele, I am so thankful for the private clinics. They provide such a great alternative to the state-run hospitals. Looking forward to reading your post about your dental experience!
Posted by: acommonwoman | 04/25/2012 at 05:37 PM