This last week, I broke down and went to the dentist. I was terrified. Fortunately, it was a good experience and didn't involve much pain. But I still have a lingering fear of doctor's offices. Particularly in countries who have socialized medicine. This is a repeat of one of my favorite posts. Hope you enjoy!
When we moved to Russia in the early 90’s, I told my husband the only way I would go to the Russian hospital was if I was already dead. I hoped things would be better after moving to the Balkans. Unfortunately, some things are eerily the same.
1. Socialized medicine means making an appointment for 9:00, and finding 37 other people in line for the same appointment.
2. When the nurse tells you to strip off your clothes, she doesn’t provide a sheet, gown or fig leaf to cover up with.
3. As you sit naked, shivering on the table, the other 37 people in line periodically pop in the room to remind the doctor that they are waiting.
4. The nurse uses an ink pen to draw a circle around the spot where she just gave you a TB test, and says to not wash the ink off your arm until your return in 3 days.
5. Your doctor leaves in the middle of your exam for a frappe/smoke break.
6. If you have a cold, the doctor blames it on sitting in a draft or using ice in your drink.
7. The doctor diagnoses your “female problems” as the result of sitting on a cold surface, such as the ground, a marble step, or the floor. After everything thaws out, you’ll be able to have children again.
8. While drawing blood, the glass tube attached to the needle falls off and breaks, so the nurse holds another tube to catch the drips falling from the needle still impaled in your arm.
9. The machine for chest x-rays is located right in front of the door, which is open more than shut, providing a free peep show for everyone waiting in line for their x-rays.
10. By the end of your appointment, at least 37 strangers will have seen you in your birthday suit.